جنون

To disassociate and to connect.

With doors closing, pages turning, and moments being lived, you unconsciously tend to ask that question of what next. I ask the question, where did I go wrong to end up being so right today. Every morning I awake from dreams of the past and every evening I lay to rest thinking of the future, of what to do tomorrow, of how to live the next. And in between all of that, I take and make the decisions that make my today, that steer me from one to the other. It's like playing bumper cars all day, all day you keep hitting something or the other, you keep maneuvering from perceived dangers to anticipated happiness and eventually, after experiencing all, you're glad where you stopped and appreciate where you are. The past is a baggage, it is that part of your shadow that at any given moment, never leaves your side, but it is also that fortune that happens with the unfortunate. Life is your one gamble at happiness. So what if you have to sit everyday and have to sieve through feelings and disassociate with some and connect others; what matters is that you have the power to do that. The power to separate yourself from you. To take all of you forward but to stop and turn back and look at all of you also. And the feeling that you've made the right moves, taken the correct turns and you are where you are the happiest, and even though the future may be a blur, and there may be a million apprehensions, you are standing strong and ready for every challenge, is by far the best high in life. To be able to say that you are what you are because of what you were and will be what you want tomorrow, is one of the most enduring moments of life and should be lived through everyday.